Small talk is and always will be cumbersome

The other week I had the supposed pleasure of seeing an acquaintance. Hadn't seen them in a while. In some ways it was nice to catch up find out what they were up to.

Though, the thing was they told me exactly the same shite the last time that I'd seen them, however many months ago. I'd totally forgotten all of it, this refreshed my memory, and we probably had exactly the same conversation as we did then.

I'm clearly not having that great bond or connection with them as I do with other people. I don't dislike them, there is nothing I have against them. We just can't hold a conversation. But, next time I see them should I bother to have the same twice-practiced chat?

Did I ever have the initial small talk chat with the people who I do choose to see on a weekly basis? How was it that I connected instantly with them and not with other people? What shifted the friendship from small talk into more concrete kind of stuff?
Or, is it that I never had the small talk conversations with them? They just weren't necessary. Ever.

And it isn't as if I dislike meeting new people either. At my crazy industry parties, you can often find me going up to random people and having crazy conversations. There was the story of Rocky the Stripper (mid act). Even at the dentist yesterday, where they made me wait 40 minutes for a 15 minute appointment (yes there was a cheeky repartee between the dentist and I), I managed to have a lovely chat with an elderly lady. Who, by the by, also happened to have the most youthful looking feet I have ever seen for an old person (she was wearing sandals).


She told me how as soon as she gets to the dentist, she begins to shake. I told her it's silly to worry, and it isn't scary at all. She was expecting bad news. I told her, worry once she knows, no point worrying beforehand when you don't even know. Then she asked me my star sign and gave me a reading. That was fun.

But these people- instant conversation. And none of that boring stuff. Usually I wouldn't give the old lady the time of day, but I'm going on that cruise with grandma, so I need practice.

I usually head the other way when I see a small talk conversationalist in my midst. But now, I think I'm going to confront them head-on about our issue. Maybe it can be fixed.

The high holy day shule experience

I don't know why, but there is nothing better than telling someone that they are sitting in your seat on Rosh Hashana, or Yom Kippur.

I don't where the gratification comes from in telling someone to vacate, but I can clearly remember walking up the stairs on Day1/Day 2 and hoping for someone to be there. Wierd... it's like some elitest mind trip.

Unfortunately there was no one in my seat. Or fortunately, I can't tell.
But I was surrounded by very talkative hungarian old ladies. One look from mine evil eye, with eyebrow raised and they were hushed into silence. Pure power.
It also comes from being the page helper. I'm the one in my section who always knows what page were on.

The worst thing on chag, is trying to get out of shule once it's all over. I don't know why people persist to stand in the aisles and not actually move. I tried some tactic- move closer to someone so they get the hint and MOVE...didn't really work and when she decided to backtrack and literally step under me, I apologised. You know, that sort of reverse/sarcastic/unbelievable apology? And what does she do??????? She tells me i'm OK! Last time I'm pulling that apology.

All in all was a good RH. I managed to work on the tan inbetween eating and praying and everyone who supplied me with mags for the lockdown, I'm very appreciative.

My week of free stuff (last week)

My first premiere wasn't all it cracked up to be.
We got to walk down the red carpet, I got free posters, giant sneaker keyrings (basically a sneaker on a keyring) and when I wanted the Spark plugs, the chick from Hooters looked at me like I was insane and wouldn't give me them!


We were trying to wait in the lobby so we could talk to Will and John. They kept herding people away. So we got in the longest line ever for the Candybar. No intention to buy anything, I just wanted to hang.
Once they caught on to us jumping from back of the line to back of the line, we went to hide in that lolly arcade. We pretended to fil up the bag with sweets. Every time the manager came over we had to look busy. It was so silly.

I went through huge conflicts. First it was getting in the longest queue deliberately. So very unlike me. Then it was going for a seat or waiting for Will? Do I go upstairs to get a seat? Waiting for Will Ferrell who I probably wouldn't be able to talk to, would mean I miss out on a good seat for the movie. What to do?

And I strangely felt so naughty hiding in the lolly arcade. We would have hid in the toilets, but those George St cinemas are so disgusting.

We finally got caught and got shooed upstairs. We're walking into the nice, D grad celeb filled cinema and they tell us to piss off. We're in the cinema for all the plebs!

We went in. Will came in. John came in. We shouted at him to sing Mr Cellophane but he didn't hear. It was pretty much a non event. Anchorman was so much funnier. I was reading a review on the weekend and they gave it 4 stars?? Can't believe it. A case of peer pressure if I've ever seen one.

Other free stuff was that ring from JCA. And I still haven't heard back on my exchange...
And WHO magazine gave me the first season of Entourage. Not bad in a day's work!
When I'm done with that, I'll be selling that on eBay.

Well it's started hasn't it?

It's Rosh Hashana this weekend.

My inbox is full of group Shana Tova messages.
My phone keeps beeping for texts (and it's a shit beep, I have that old phone).

They are all shitty blanket group emails or blanket text messages from people wishing the whole freaking world their Shana Tova wishes.

Is it a guilt thing? The thought process goes something like this:
"I can't possibly speak to you all, but hey, you're in my phone/address book for a reason, let's send everyone a blanket text to know that I still exist."

I don't want them. I find them totally pointless.
Isn't Rosh Hashana meant to be about really reflecting on your year. Looking at your growth, your relationships and connections with people and properly assessing all of the above?
These blanket sentiments just don't cut it. They actually make me feel ill.

I admit I used to do it too, but my year away was a long time ago. I'm not about making fairy floss dreams and shiny happy people anymore. If you want to write me a message, if you want to make it a nice new year, make it sincere, make it mean something. Otherwise, I'd rather you didn't...

I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but...

Last week was JCA.
I lost my phone at JCA.

I booked online and was lucky enough to win one of the prizes.
When the lovely people told me that I'd won a prize, they couldn't remember which one. I made sure to tell them that I hoped it was the Cosabella stuff.

However...it wasn't any of these was it?
Last night, after a bit of soft bitching (as opposed to hard bitching) about how I still hadn't gotten my prize, it came.
It looks like this:

Need I say more?

...but I will.

It's bright blue, it's plastic. Or glass. I don't really know. Looks like plastic. At least the nail polish looks good!
Would be nice if that chunky blue stone was a diamond, but the metal is plated so that wouldn't work either.
Probably would also be nice if it was an engagement ring. But if that was the case, I'd be happy with the $2 tombola from the corner store*.

It's almost worse that I got it. Now, I have to go to the store and ask if I can swap it for something that suits my tastes, my sophisticated tastes, so much better (this would be anything not plastic or plated).
If I hadn't won anything, I wouldn't have to schlep up there at all.

In all honestly, it's not that bad. This little saga is going to give me 2 blog entries (at least). I'll probably go to the place and find something so kitsch that it's good. It does happen.

*said in jest

Drunken benders et al

In some ways I wish it was this drunk Bender (he is the funniest robot I know), that I'm talking about.


It was more a week of this kind of drunk bender:


On Wednesday night, work took me out (and some others) for dinner. I am the golden child, so it was all about Me, Me and more Me.
It was a lot of fun. Some gossip was dropped.
But silly me filled up on all the entree of pizza, not knowing there was more excellent goodness to come.
So then I had to sit there watching everyone else eat while I just kept on drinking. So no real biggie there.
The biggest thing that happened was that I gave my clickr away to someone who deserves it more than I do. Plus the thing was one of the stupidest/dumbest/lamest ideas I have ever gotten into my head.

Then on Thursday night I went to Dancers in the Cross. This is a strip club. And I wasn't going there randomly, it was a work function with Ralph magazine. There were a couple clients there, so I ventured out. When there are photos, I'll let you know...

Was full of men, ugly/strippy/tarty women, and then my drunk friends women. We had fun.
It was a night of card tricks, poker, blackjack and stealing chips from the croupiers. I handed my card out like it was a bag of Country Mints...there was also a lot of vagina, but I tried to steer well away from that.
However the Vagina part did come in helpful when there were some gratuitous shots of Lindsay Lohan that flashed across my screen on Friday (warning- not work safe). Being desensitised to vagina viewing made it a lot less difficult.

I chatted to one of the strippers- Rocky, mid pose. Her chest and elbows were on the floor, the rest of her body was entangled upwards, on the pole behind her. I had a discussion with her about being treated purely as an object (not me, her). It was quite interesting. She takes it as an art form and it also keeps her ass in tip top condition.
I'm surprised we didn't talk tupperware.

By the end of the night I was so hammered. The midget that was running around stopped freaking me out. At 1am, the free party ended and the clothes really came off. That was my signal to get out of there.

Most intriguing part of the night was when I bumped into someone I know, around that 1am mark. He disappeared quite quickly, so I went to find him to say hi. At the moment of approach he was mid deal to go into one of the back rooms. I have since been educated it was only a lap dance, but still. It has to be pretty embarrassing. I'm sure he wasn't expecting to see me there.

Next morning...probably a hangover as bad as the night I lost my phone. Except no pounding headache. Miracles occurred in getting myself up and dressed to be at work by 8.30am. I couldn't lift my feet higher than 1cm off the ground and there wasn't enough berocca to fix me.

I have hung up my drinking glass, till at least....I don't know....at least Wednesday.

Shitty pun of the week

Oh, poor Adriana Xenides.
The ex Wheel of Fortune host has really let herself go these days. Look at this picture. She has just ballooned.


She has lost her licence for 18 months. Reckless driving. They even got Baby John to testify as a character witness.

Well, last night I was watching the late News on Channel Ten. They're pretty cheeky bastards.
Deborah Knight, straight faced:

"Ex Wheel of Fortune host, Adriana Xenides, won't be behind the wheel for a very long time."

So bad, it's almost good.

My afternoon of free lottery tickets

The other day I found $2.
Not on the floor in my place, or in a pocket. I literally found a random $2 in the street.

I thought "cool", I though "bitchin' ", I thought "I'm going to see how far I can take this $2"

So I went and bought a lottery ticket. A $2 scratchie.

At first I was one hotdog off $100K.
There was innuendo exclaimed at this point, around my office, when I exclaimed I was one hotdog off 100 Grand.
And then, I got 3 caps and won $3.

So it was straight back to the Newsagent for me.

I got another $2 and and a $1. But I had to pay 10 cents for the damn one dollar scratchie. It wasn't even for GST. It was agency fees! What a rort (the spelling of this word still confuses me by the way).

From this, the scratchie chain pretty much died. I got one more $1 free scratchie and that was it.

I lost 10 cents! All that garbage and I actually LOST money.

It also got me thinking. I instantly ran back to the newsagent to re-gamble my $3. If I had gotten that other hotdog, would I just as quickly have run back to regamble my $100,000?



I probably would have been a good jew, invested it in a couple of guaranteed stocks and bonds...doubled my money in no time, put a deposit on a house......done some charity work....what else do jews do with money?

A slice of retro

Meet my new phone.
Remember these babies?
These were cool right before the camera phones came out.

It's so prehistoric (for a phone it is) that I don't know how to navigate it. The user friendly traits only came in with the colour, bigger screens.

The ringtones are so intensely annoying. MIDI files are the worst invention known to man.
And it's so old that it doesn't have a silent mode. You can turn the ringer off. But no silent mode.
So messages beep real loud and the keypad beeps.

And I just realised, if someone calls me and I forget to do silent, I can't press that magic silent button. Nor do I have a "reject" function.
When it happens, and I know it will (knowing me), the whole room will have to endure the incessant ring tone until it goes to voice mail.

Despite all the phone dramas, I can now start afresh with a new list. I can replace my phone which had a huge crack in it anyway (which makes me wonder why the taxi driver went off with it. It doesn't even have a camera for god's sake). One good thing did happen this week. I finally changed my light bulb which I thought was stuck in the fitting. It only took me 8 months. Go me.

A telegram from Western Union

Last night, big night STOP
Got very drunk STOP
Took Clickr out STOP
Was lame STOP
Martini club awesome STOP
Lost phone STOP
Wish I'd lost Clickr STOP

A bitchin' movie = a bitchin' soundtrack???

Last night I think I saw the best movie I have ever seen (well in a long time anyway).
I saw Brick.
A film noir gang style movie set in a modern day high school.
The characters spoke in that olden day manner. I didn't get all of it, but I got enough to get by. It was great.
The cinematography was great. The acting- great. The plot line- great. A really well thought out movie from every angle.
I was sitting on the edge of my seat at times. Gripping onto my drink. Holding my breath.


Movies rarely do this. I'm a cynic. A non believer. I'd say in my whole life maybe 2 or 3 have had such an effect on me.

In previous experience, great movies have always had great soundtracks. I give you The Royal Tenenbaums. I give you the Big Chill. I give you Momento, Eternal Sunshine...Requiem for a Dream, Reservoir Dogs- the list goes on. All great films.
For more, there is a pretty good list of good movies here

I was once given the Grey's Anatomy soundtrack. Strangely a couple of those songs are doozies. I was well impressed. It is a great show anyway. The show also features some pretty good songs too. Not your general crap variety that I know the OC plays (which I never have nor never will see)...they really venture out into the tasteful arrangement.

But I am positive Brick has some good tracks. I went to look in IMDB. They had a couple songs. Not many. I'm sure there were more than that. Then google helped me out...http://www.myspace.com/bricksoundtrack.

It's good. You even hear voiceover.

There are 40 tracks on the CD. That is a shitload. I want to buy it. I'm going to buy it.

So is this proof. Do all great movies have a great soundtrack?

Another one for my repository - A 4 legged chicken

This shit happens way too often.

Chicken's name is Jack-Peg-a-leg.

I now have a list of:
2 faced cat
3 armed kid
2 headed snake
2 headed turtle

This is getting a little too much.

I'm psychic and not ashamed

I've always had a good intuition. Never really phased me and just trusted my instincts.

There were a few good ones to remember:

1. Having a sense of my nieces names, or the phonetics of the name, before they were named...quite freaky (2 were exact, 2 were similarities and the last one was a failure;4 out of 5 aren't bad).
2. Having a feeling to buy a lottery ticket and winning $40. Not $1million, but better than nothing!
3. Being asked predictive questions in meetings and responding in the blink of an eye the colour of a next magazine cover (spot on) and a statistic (again spot on). They told us if we guessed the right statistic we would get a prize. I got it bang on and NO PRIZE! You can't do that. Does being psychic mean I cheated??

Lately I've been doing this thing where I ask people to think of a number between 1 and 10. They need to look at me, into my eyes, the entire time and then I guess their number. I've done it 3 times and been bang on target. I have a rating of three for three and need to be in the right mood when doing it.
But this is more about reading people. Getting their body language.
Half the trick though is getting them to follow your body language. You can basically control the situation and get them to choose the number you're thinking of. It's hard to explain, but it works! I got it from this magician, Criss Angel.
I got home late one Saturday night, and this guy was doing mind reading tricks and partially revealing how he does it. Fun.
Even if all the other stuff is lame, this trick is phenomenal.

Oh happy, HAPPY day

Today in the mail, I received my long awaited Clickr!
A friend works at Lynx and I've been begging him for one for months.


The questions of all questions now...
Firstly- you wonder what got one click already?
Second- what in god's name am I going to start clicking for?

The choices are endless, the possibilities numerous.
It is going to be a fun Spring/Summer, this has made it even more fun. Not only will I be going out with my camera in tow everywhere I go, the Clickr will be making its appearance too.
Get acquainted now, you shall be seeing her out soon.

In other stuff...
Last week Katie R and I went to the Dolly Teen Choice Awards. I wasn't going to blog it because it was pretty lame, but the clickr post was so short I needed to supplement.

It wasn't that exciting. Grade G celebs. Lots of Big Brother people. There were fun pre drinks that lasted for 20 minutes before the bar went into lock down. We were basically forced to watch the awards because everyone knows when faced with being in an auditorium full of screaming girls, or being at an open bar, everyone chooses open bar!
I think I bitched about every presenter during the ENTIRE awards show. I don't think I stopped for 2 minutes. Except maybe when I went to the bathroom.
It's good I forgot my camera. Who knows what lowest lows I would have sunk to on that night.

And post. Forget after party. Bar was still in lockdown. I don't know where the afterparty was and no one told me because I'm not even a Grade G celebrity. So I went home and had another fight with a taxi driver which is happening more often that not these days.