Friday, June 20, 2008

"Say What?"

I am finding that people will say the weirdest things, not even caring if you hear or not.

I have recently come into direct, including eye contact, with:

An amusing opening for cash
"Don't be scared of me, I'm just a crack addict"

Walking to get some sliced mango on an extremely Changi-like night:
"So, do you think she's hotter than I am"
Said by girl to her 2 male friends. On my return I asked what the verdict was.

I love it when the homeless people add their 2 cents. This has been my favourite:
"Damn. Look at those legs. Those are some great long legs"
I had to turn away as I burst into hysterics

Random guy on a walking stick
"Have a lovely day, you hear me? Have a lovely day. Thanks for making mine"
This has probably got to do with the excellent hair days I have been having. Pair that with big black sunglasses and it's a can't lose combination.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Yes. If I wanted your help, I would have asked for it.

Why do people in this city do this?
Why do they seek the need to really and truly stick their nose in something, when really, no one asked, no one was wanting and to top it off- you've come in at a point, missed the story and again: no need.

Some incidences have occurred:

  • On the weekend, it was ridiculously hot. Wore the bikini/dress combo because it was seriously Changi Prisoner of War Camp HOT. So hot, that I even tucked my dress a little into my kini bottoms to make it a little shorter and hopefully cooler. Some nut makes every effort to get some other nut to tap me on the shoulder and get my attention. Bless her. She wanted to tell me my dress was tucked in my undies. "Lady", I say, "do you know how fucking hot it is?? This is deliberate."

  • Take 2: I went to see the Biennial at the Whitney. The shenanigans that day were very fun. Contemporary art is fucking boring unless you interact. I interacted to the point of reaching hyperactivity and hysteria. One piece was a book glued to the floor. The security on duty, was ON it. Really. I say to my friend " 'oly Shit. Someone has left a book on the floor and no one, like NO ONE, is picking it up. Disgusting."
    A dyke, from a pair of dykes, turns to me and says "Ummm, it's part of the exhibition". I do my non-sensical, are you 'fucked in the head', 'you're a butchy dyke aren't you?' look, wait a little and then go "....ohhh. Ok". Then do the eye moves and ask the guard if I could open it. He says to me, if I want to read it that I should go to the library and borrow it. Spunky, but annoying. Then he wanted to talk about Australia. Weird. Usually people think it's British. He was all round, impressive.

  • Gone to Macy's. NEVER go to Macy's. It's an awful place. I commented to my partner in crime that day, that Starbucks is the largest public toilet network in the world and that we just passed one of two in Macy's. She comments that Starbucks is visual abuse and where is there not a Starbucks? Some lady walking past shares with us that the Starbucks is right over in the corner behind us. WTF? I don't want to know. Did anyone ask you?

Interesting no? People like to go out of their way for useless information. For something you need....forget it.

Other highlights this week: Got totally drenched in a torrential storm after Death Cab for Cutie concert. Sweet. I say, better to get all wet than be half assed. It paid off. I even lost a thong (as in the shoe) running away from the eye of the storm...heavy duty.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Fucked up flat mates and such

When I first got to NY, I was pretty lucky. Awe-SOME flatmates, even if one thought her British accent was Australian and used the crackberry a little too much.

And after I decided that the UWS wasn't for me and began the search downtown, things started to get a little hazy. Potentials included....
  • A witch. Really. With feathers and candles and crap everywhere.
  • People listed "semi private alcoves" and Being John Malcovich style living
  • One sent me a fucking great email, I still have it:
    "I share a one bedroom with a friend. Rule is no sex in the apartment, well that was until I came home and found my roomie with my boyfriend, in bed together..."

And i've heard some fucking crazy stories from friends and their flatmates' habits
  • Doesn't clean out kitty litter and concurrently does not open any windows
  • Never leaves their room
  • Doesn't talk
  • Requests no interaction over the weekend

And it's not like anyone gives a shit. It's all about making your own rules and how it works for you even if it impacts another person in their own small living space. It is bizarre. No external consideration or respect.
I thought my own flatmate was having trouble with the 'adjustment period' in to our apartment. But now I know there is no understanding about how to live in a shared household. I don't care if she reads it, she is going to get it.
  • uses a roll of toilet paper A DAY! I work from home and use about 12 squares a day. I did a test the other week with 3 ppl. It took us 3 days to get through it! I don't know what the fuck she is doing with that thing. Was there some memo I missed? It must have been on the same memo as why girls spend so long in the toilet because I didn't get that one either!
  • Leaves crap in the sink, dishes all over the house, never wipes down the benchtops and just shit everywhere. Who the fuck does she think makes it disappear? Her mother doesn't come over and do it for her.
  • Lights on! Hey, we're in massive global warming and it's just a waste financially and again resourcefully!
  • Hair residual in the shower catchment thing. Fucking gross
  • And then there was one time she used my toothpaste. It would be completely ok if she asked, but she made sure she put it back in the same position that I had, but I knew, just knew she was using it through my own clever analysis.
    Moving on.
    During the using toothpaste period, she was ranting at how she knew her last flatmate was going into her room and taking/using stuff like her underwear (well, she wins on that one, that is insane). I decided to invent a story for her which basically implied don't use my toothpaste without asking: "Hey, it's ok if you're using my toothpaste, but I just want you to know that my dentist told me I should have my own toothpaste because I have this contagious bacterial condition on my gums"...I never got to do it, because finally she got her own. It would have been awesome.
The list is pretty extensive. I've been trying to have a family meeting for weeks but we're never home together. She is a little feisty so I expect some biting back. Watch this space for the outcome.