Small talk is and always will be cumbersome

The other week I had the supposed pleasure of seeing an acquaintance. Hadn't seen them in a while. In some ways it was nice to catch up find out what they were up to.

Though, the thing was they told me exactly the same shite the last time that I'd seen them, however many months ago. I'd totally forgotten all of it, this refreshed my memory, and we probably had exactly the same conversation as we did then.

I'm clearly not having that great bond or connection with them as I do with other people. I don't dislike them, there is nothing I have against them. We just can't hold a conversation. But, next time I see them should I bother to have the same twice-practiced chat?

Did I ever have the initial small talk chat with the people who I do choose to see on a weekly basis? How was it that I connected instantly with them and not with other people? What shifted the friendship from small talk into more concrete kind of stuff?
Or, is it that I never had the small talk conversations with them? They just weren't necessary. Ever.

And it isn't as if I dislike meeting new people either. At my crazy industry parties, you can often find me going up to random people and having crazy conversations. There was the story of Rocky the Stripper (mid act). Even at the dentist yesterday, where they made me wait 40 minutes for a 15 minute appointment (yes there was a cheeky repartee between the dentist and I), I managed to have a lovely chat with an elderly lady. Who, by the by, also happened to have the most youthful looking feet I have ever seen for an old person (she was wearing sandals).


She told me how as soon as she gets to the dentist, she begins to shake. I told her it's silly to worry, and it isn't scary at all. She was expecting bad news. I told her, worry once she knows, no point worrying beforehand when you don't even know. Then she asked me my star sign and gave me a reading. That was fun.

But these people- instant conversation. And none of that boring stuff. Usually I wouldn't give the old lady the time of day, but I'm going on that cruise with grandma, so I need practice.

I usually head the other way when I see a small talk conversationalist in my midst. But now, I think I'm going to confront them head-on about our issue. Maybe it can be fixed.