Wednesday, September 26, 2007


I can't walk around this city without constantly wanting to wash my hands!
It feels so dirty, there are so many people on the subway, the air is so thick on that thing you could slice it with a knife.
I wanted to buy one of those hand sanitiser things, but in true media fashion, it fell into my lap as a present in a media kit. Score!

I still feel OCD. Just as much as I got here. I wash my hands every time I enter a building from the outside...even when I'm in a taxi I think it's gross. How many people have been in that stinking thing before me?! Not to mention the stinky cab driver...

Then there are those people who when using a public toilet need to get toilet paper to shut the door. But they cant use the first exposed pieces of toilet paper, because, well, someone else has touched it. So they discard that (which they somehow touch), then use the next pieces to shut the door latch. Then they get more to actually flush the toilet and then again to open the door.
I thought that was the end of the line when some woman came out of the cubicle, took more paper from the towel dispenser to turn the tap on and THEN wash her hands. Ingenious! Then she took from the wad of paper, a sheet to open the door.
This woman could then perform an appendectomy she was that hygienic!

The first time I didn't feel like I had to wash my hands immediately, was in the suburbs of Jersey. There's a place that's true America- dens, basements (now I know where that guy went to get Homer the 1000 uses for wax lips), pantries and storage full of jumbo sized everything.
A little bit scary, a very consumption driven nation. There is no way in hell this country is going to cut down the amount they consume any time soon. I'm sure every family lives in that way and Al Gore has a shitload to do.
In the meantime, I'll continue to wash my hands!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

What the fuck is wrong with this country?

So this thing is massive right now. I hear it's massive everywhere.
Bigger than big.

Kind of reminds me of the Chasers. Even though the got arrested for something similar, it wasn't like the Police and security weren't at fault as well!
This Today Tonight story is a bit of a beat up, but it still tells of the brilliance

I actually felt like crying after watching this taser thing. Who knew 'tase' was even a verb! Certainly gets picked up by spellcheck!

Although it kind of reminds me of the whole Chaser thing. Same deal. Not really doing anything, just causing a stir and a bit of awareness. The only people who get affected are the ones with the power and they are the ones reacting to protect the pedestals they stand on.

This isn't bad either. Just a sum up of the ridiculousness of APEC

Still a freak out. The Taser guy was harassed and assaulted for free speech. Chaser guys got through checkpoints they shouldn't have.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

So what's wrong with America?

I don't know what's been wrong with me for the past few months. I'm still funny in person, but on my Blog, it just isn't shaking. Lame.

I'm going to try my hardest to pick it up. I've been doing some observing, watching how people interact and I'm getting on board to go to some crazy things like the World Series etc etc.

So I've been here a week now, I'm pretty settled. I've had some run ins with some major Jewish princesses, I'll blog those another day...

My first main observation
So what's wrong with this country?
Everyone is obsessed with celebrity. And even if people were to shake it, like Jude Law wants, there is no way it will happen. It's like a drug. The common public feeds off the 'real' lives of these glamourous celebrities.
Celebrities' lives are a fantasy- so much money, attractive people, good food, parties fun- yet at the same time it's all reality.
Their lives are almost as entertaining as the movies they appear in. But it's real!

The whole thing is like a dog eating it's tail. I'm wise enough to know most of the realities these celebrities generate are fakes, but it's just too hard to keep up with all my friends' shit, let alone the celebs. Thinking about the whole reverse cycle fantasy-reality wheel just makes me dizzy.

To add further insult, movies ads are everywhere and they completely saturate every feasible ad space. I can't walk out of the house or be in my house without seeing some ad for a movie, tv show or some other generic, mind numbing form of entertainment.

People's lives just revolve around the basic need to forget everything about it!

Thursday, September 06, 2007

It only happens to Wisey...

With things falling so nicely into place, it's no wonder a whole heap of shit had to happen once I got into New York.

Jews who go over the line
Instance 1: Recently I encountered a taxi driver who decided to take a shot and ask me if I was Jewish. I took a moment to ponder whether to be honest or not. I was. He responded how he thought so. Good work bub.
My curly brown hair, brown eyes and my necklace in hebrew isn't a total giveaway.
He was about to ask me "do you want to..." something, but he saw the fuck off look in my face and stopped.

Instance 2: At the airport, I check in and because of all the stamps in my passport from Israel, the customs officer decides to wish me a shana tova.
Somehow I felt like it was an invasion of my identity. In both instances. I think it was the smug look on their faces once they had deduced something that isn't even a secret.
Using the jew-bond is useful, but sometimes inappropriate use just makes me feel dirty and violated. There has to be particular cases where it just doesn't work and certainly a finesse to bring it into a conversation, and I don't think either of these two did that.

A tear and a half
My 2 suitcases were ripped beyond use in transit.
Watch this space for ensuing insurance claims.

Taxi strike in New York. Had to wait 40 minutes for a taxi

and then...
I finally get a cab, with my 3 suitcases, and the fucker decides to rear end another car.
I waited another half an hour for another taxi and I was on my home straight.

Other than that It's been all good.
Today I had fun in a social security office. You can't even eat in there. I was eating a dried apricot and got told to stop!
It's just full of people. I only had to wait an hour, but other people were there for hours.
Let's hope I get a cool number.