The things I get out of bed for...

5.40pm yesterday evening:

Ring ring ring

A disgruntled Wisey answers her phone

Wisey: Webby!! What are you calling me for?! I'm sick!
Webby: Wisey, I have a spare ticket for you for Coldplay tonight.
Wisey: You aren't serious. What time? Where?

It will be a day of repetitious repetition

I have been awake for one and a half hours this morning and I have already heard the same conversation about 33 times over. Maybe 37. I fell asleep on the ferry.

It sort of goes something like this:

1: We were robbed
2: That (hot) guy fell over himself
1: We should have won that
2: But they just couldn't convert.

and it goes on.

However, last night was incredible. Bondi Hotel was incredibly packed from midnight, kick off was at 1am. I was fortunate enough to be sitting next to 2 loud italians. My catch phrase for the night: "Anyone want a pizza? Ask those two."

This is also the first time I have cared more about Australia than Israel- ie My emotional connection to Australia was really strong at this one moment (thanks Bloomy for making me feel unaustralian). I was so swept up in the passion and being surrounded by all my friends, it was so strange for a cynic like me. Emotion- I just don't do it.

When it came to sing the anthems, we sang Waltzing Matilda over the Italians, and the Australian anthem was sung more proudly than I have ever sung it. Probably the first time I was incredibly proud of my country. Oh, Sport is so great, and those Italians are so hot! I don't understand, that even with the subs, they just kept on getting hotter and hotter...

We made T shirts too. They were hot. I wore my awesome Mondrian shoes (some say they are Rubik's Cube) and all in all it was a great night.

No National holiday, but I'm still very proud of my fellas, particularly the man child Cahill. It's a shame we never saw the little Kennedy, but we did get to see the Aloisi charm and dimples. And I'd be glad to adopt Guus as an Australian.

National "Everyone's your mate" day

Well, it's taken me a while to blog about the fantastic game of Australia v Croatia.
It's hard getting time to myself these days, hopefully soon I'll be able to again surf the net for hours on end.

So after the busiest 4am shift in taxi history and watching an action packed game with an over-use of "Oish Mameles", then getting the shakes from nerves, we eventually won.

That goalie was spastic, it was an emotional roller coaster and it was unbelievable. Yellow cards were handed out like tissues, I even thought some were given to the Croats so they could go and get haircuts. It was even more unbelievable than the Japan game.

The Beach Road was packed! When Australia got the first goal, they gave free beers. No surprise there weren't many takers at 5.30 in the morning.

But when we did get that first goal, the atmosphere totally lifted. There is a video here of that moment.



One of the best moments was when they flashed thay Aussie chick on the screen. Wearing a yellow top and massive tits. She got bigger cheers than when penalties were given.

At the end of the game, the roof was raised like I've never seen before. Everyone was going mental. There was a bit of confusion as to when the whistle was blown, but once Viduka kissed the ref, we all knew it was over. Video of that here.
Everyone piled onto the street. People were honking and screaming, cheering. It was great. Video of that here

When it gets interesting
Now after that is where the beauty of the typical Australian psyche comes into play.
We were in our regalia after watching the game and we decided to go straight into work considering it was 7.30.
This is when you start thinking this should be a national holiday. This should be a day with a name like:

• Everyone's your mate day
• National happiness and friends day
• National your stranger is your long lost mate day

and

• Because we're all Australian and we love sport lets to talk to anyone in Green and Gold day

Now- I do like it, it's great that we won, but I really am confused as to why this happens.
If we win tonight, the party will go on for hours.

I just hope we do. There is no doubt in my mind it will become a national holiday (hopefully with an awesome title).

How to make a non-jew feel like poo

I just had a quick conversation in the kitchen at work.
I was asked if I'm coming to Friday night drinks, and then they remembered that I can't because I'm Jewish and have Shabbat. I need to leave before it gets dark or I turn into a pumpkin.

So once they remembered, they said:

"Oh that's right, you're Jewish. How unfortunate."

And I respond:

"Yes. That's what Hitler used to say."

"d-grade-celeb-a-rama":- A premeditated celebrity bashing

So, was another great weekend in the land of Nod.

On Saturday night I was lucky enough to go to Vice Magazine's 3rd Birthday party. There were horrible free drinks, pole dancers, VIP rooms, alternative types and some funky* freebie Agent Provocateur perfume.

Of course I love to share and I took some of my friends with me too. Some enjoyed, some did not.
But I liked it.

Now, while I was there, I managed to recognise 2 people. I was so excited that I had my camera in order to take pics and then celebrity bash.

The first being Gunsberg.
I had to pretend to be a fan to have a pic with him. I think I was already so drunk in this pic and clearly not one of my more photogenic moments (even with the photoshop job).


I don't know what my gripe with him is. Maybe the hair that doesn't move (and I saw it up close, it doesn't move)?
It could be the arrogance.
It could be that we had to tap him on the shoulder for aaaggeees (and I'm talking more than a minute) to get a picture with him. But then again, we were just treating like an object...
Maybe it's the fact that he perpetuates this jeans with a blazer and converse shoes look that just screams 'I used to be cool in 2004'?
He is a goy, who is almost Jewish, but isn't and dating some Israeli.
The 'trying to be cool' pose he gave in the picture, which in truth gives me more ammo.
Or I could just be jealous that he is earning tonnes of cash for really doing nothing that exciting.

One of his fans did mention that he has 2 redeeming qualities -

1. He said that Gunsberg really knows his music (although I can't say that I know this for sure) and
2. at a day to help Tsunami victims, Gunsberg really put in the biggest effort out of anyone.

So well done for that Gunsberg.

Then this moron. I looked at him and I thought, "Where do I know this fuckwit from?"
Then I realised he is that fuckwit from Pedestrian fashion (this DVD magazine). He does all the street talk.


He is such an arrogant so and so.
However when I laughed at him right before this photo and said
"you're gonna get it on my blog", he got very upset.
One of those mini-celebrity-low-self-esteem-with-many-insecurities types. A real tool.

Overall it was a good night had by all. More people would have been able to come had others not been so selfish and hoarded tickets!

*as in bad smelling

I, like, love this

And up yours to every other grammatical error that everyone chooses to live their lives by.

Link Here.

I've had it up to here with Alannah Hill!

For a long, very long time, I have hated Alannah Hill.
For starters, it's ridiculously overpriced crap and the sales people walk around like a shit had vomited all over them!



The sales people wear crazy stockings and shoes. Skirts that don't match all of their 15 layered tops and then they throw on a belt, a giant flowery feathery thing in their hair and don't forget the make up. It's like a 7 year old got into her mother's wardrobe and went nuts.

You know how strange these people would look if they went out of the store??

I just don't like it. Especially when Sportsgirl decided to copy them in a diluted kind of way. We were calling the place "Diluted Alannah Hill" for a while.

Well- the other day I went into a store. I was reluctant. I tried to make myself busy and one of the sales people said hello and asked how I was.
Then another.
And another.

It was torture. I don't want to talk to these freakshows.

Then one starts asking me about the weather. And it wasn't 2 questions, it was a barrage.
Why do I want to talk weather in a clothing store?!?? Fashion darling! I want to talk about clothes.

I'm cynical at most times, but you could clearly tell I wasn't interested and she didn't let up.

I'm sorry Gila. But I'm never going into an Alannah Hill again. Not even to buy a flower clip. I'd rather go to Target.

Oish, mamele, go you Socceroos

Last night was a nail biter of a game. I was pretty stressed out watching the Socceroos annihilate Japan

It was a little touch and go at first, but those Aussies, when they got started, they really rubbed it in.

I went to my local- the Beach Rd. They gave out beanies and little balls. I got there a little late, so when I asked for "2 Tigers and a Beanie", the dude thought I said "2 Tigers and a VB" and so I got a free beer out of it, so it wasn't all bad!

People couldn't find me because I was wearing my "Where's Wally?" top and there was a little bit too much smoke and I still feel like I've smoked 10 packets of cigs...

The atmosphere was incredible. By the time we won, strangers were friends, friends were lovers and it feels about 6 billion trillion times better than the olympics. Especially when a pub is packed with people at 1am on a school night!

Here are some pics, and there is a video of the Beach Rd a few minutes after we won. I was too dumb to take a video as we won...but then again I wanted to really live the moment instead of look at it through a viewfidner!

Do you trust this man?

Last night on the news, there was a story about Gay marriages in Canberra. A couple of politicians won't hear of it- mainly the PM, John Howard. Marriage is a civil union between a man and woman, he said.

A couple of politicians get on the screen and said it's discrimination, it's just not right.

Then Bob Brown gets up. You remember Bob Brown? He’s on Wikipedia as the first openly gay Parliamentarian. ...I never knew that. It's not like it changes anything anyway.

Well, he shouted down George Bush when he was here. Screamed like a pansy that George Bush is a warlord.

Last night, this man said that John Howard is

"...not in tune with the 21st Century. He isn't up with the times."

Listen Bob. You can’t go around making such claims without an extreme makeover. Especially when you like a Quentin Blake illustration.

Rad, it's ad guy!

It's moments like these, when life throws you a curve ball of glee, that you thank god you got out of bed in the morning.

It ties in so nicely with that whole adguy thing I put on YouTube.

• He has such funky blue streaks in his air.
• He is standing with such arrogance and confidence.
• He is wearing a hot knitted coat.
• He has that sexy boyish charm, demonstrated by the freckles.
  
• The paparazzi just went to get this adguy.

And I know that every 8 year old girl out there wants to root this Ad Guy senseless.

I wonder if I can buy a Kimmy Wong doll anywhere??

Hide your work, it's the client, the client!

Mmmm Mashups

I hate it when I listen to an awesome song, from a mash up, and then decide I want to get the original.

Awesome Mashup: Down on Bennies by the Kleptones. Bloody unreal song. Can't stop listening to it.

Shit song, great lyrics: Benny and the Jets by Reginald Dwight (if you don't know who I'm talking about...Cheeses!!).
The song is nothing at all like I thought it would have sounded like. The mash up just makes it into this awesome, funky tune.

I probably have heard it, but it didn't register because it's shit. I'm actually quite embarrassed that I didn't really know this song. Now I'm kind of upset that I do.

Finally an attack on the self righteous jew

Oh...I've always had it in me, it was just a matter of time before the Blog became my platform.

I've always seen this self righteous type of religious Jew as the nemesis to the light unto the nations. The Jew who sees their duty as telling everyone else off for what they are doing wrong.

Recently I witnessed someone do something nice for an SRJ (self righteous Jew). They were purely and utterly doing the deed to make the SRJ happy, not realising what they were doing was actually wrong in terms of halacha.

Now- don't you think the SRJ, if they were an SRJ would overlook the transgression (seeing they aren't an adjudicator in any case) and see the beauty of what the regular jew was doing??
If the irreligious Jew is not on the same level as the SRJ what's the big deal? The irreligious jew isn't trying to be more religious in any case.

I don't see why there is this constant need for SRJs to police people. Not only do they piss people off, but they make religion something of a negative instead of a positive. By appreciating the goodness of what the other person was doing this situation could have been something totally different. There would have been no resentment and an overall appreciation for Judaism at that one moment.

Everyone should just mind their own biz-nazz. Like screw ma'arit ayin and stuff not going to the movies during the omer (movies aren't what they used to be back in the 50s)!!

Yes, we may all dabble in the lashon hara and live our lives on the grapevine that weaves its way through the community, but ultimately in the end, Judaism is about living your life the way that makes you a better person. You should feel better about the things you do and how you do them because you are guided by a thing called yiddishkeit and not because you are afraid of how the word is going to spread about that night you pashed so and so on a drunken bender.