Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Hey you, bitch! You mother fucker!

One weekend, I had a great weekend.
I lost or misplaced my debit card. I have no idea what. I cancelled it straight away. All I had was $30 to get me from Saturday night to Monday morning. I'd write a cheque at the bank on Monday and redeem some cash.

So the saturday night started with me hopping into a cab and paying about a $10 fare. I decided to jump out a bit early. Traffic in NY is a bit of a bitch. I walked maybe 4 blocks.
Getting out of the taxi, my door hit the cab next to me. No scratch, nothing, so I shut the door and left.

2 seconds later this Indian cabbie is screaming at me in his indian accent:
"Hey you! You broke my thing, get back here!"
I just told him nothing was wrong and kept on walking.
"hey bitch, come back here."

Then 5 seconds later, I feel a car sidling up next to me:
"Hey you, you mother fucker. You broke my taxi. Bitch, Stop. Stop!"
I just kept walking. Didn't look, didn't flinch.
He kept going "Hey you bitch, stop. Damn mother fucker, you are a mother fucker!"
I just looked at him with death stare. I couldn't believe he would go nuts over such a non event. I guess it's the New York mentality. You have to protect and ensure the integrity of everything under your control.

After this incident, I was walking down the street, happily thinking I didn't get killed and some doof behind me kicks off my shoe right into the street.
I turned around, said nothing and gave him death stare.
He ran to the street got my shoe and tried to put it back on my foot. That was a little too much. I grabbed my shoe and kept walking.

The other events from that night are pretty uneventful. Some annoying guy was annoying me so since he had given me his iPhone to look at, I emailed his mother saying:
"Mom, I think I'm gay"
The "I think" really gives it the power here. Think about it.

I left wherever I was. Tried to get a cab. Impossible.
Some randoms in a taxi pull up to me and ask if I need a lift. I say I'm only going up 20 blocks, same street and everything. I told them I'd get in if they promised not to rape me. They did and I got home safe and still had $20 to my name.

The next morning at breakfast, I don't know if I was fortunate enough to go through this ordeal. But there was a pube like hair in my eggs so I ended up with a free breakfast.
By sunday night, with $20 still intact, I blew my cash on a bunch of coffees for everyone who had helped me out over the weekend.
Then I went home to nap, content at my busy weekend.

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