A scrimp here and a saving there

Note to reader: Whenever you come across the word pants, please pronounce pee-ants, like Kath and Kim would.

Over the past few weeks, I have managed to absolutely rock the retail world to the ground.
When I walk into a store, I'm pretty flippant with the staff. I don't mind cracking a wisecrack every now and then.

There was once a time at the pie factory when the guy asked if I wanted sauce. The sauce came in these little sachets that cost 25 cents a sachet. No where near enough contents. When he asked me if I wanted one, I was shocked. Who wants to pay 25 cents for a sachet of nothing? Every other normal place has a sauce dispenser for all the patrons. Normal! At my disbelief, he gave me 4, gratis.

So lately I've been going in to stores, making some wise crack like

"If that was, like, $15 less you'd get me, like, over the sales line"

and they do it!

I also haggle. I found a top with this tiny little hole in a seam. Invisible to the naked eye. All I would have to do would be to patch it myself. I haggled with the manager to drop the price by $20. I still haven't fixed the hole.

That's the trick- always get the manager. They have the power of the bargain, not the assistants.

Today was my consumerist victory. I bought these horrible black peeants, when I took them home, they looked even more awful. They had this hidden camouflage in the fabric. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I took them back.
On the receipt it says no refunds, but it doesn't say it in the store anywhere. These dumb ass assistants kept on telling me that it says no refunds on the receipt. I kept on trying to tell them that having it on the receipt is too late, I've already bought the peeants, it's defunct. Had I known earlier, I would never have bought those horrible black camouflage peeants (that's debatable).
Every time I went back, the manager was out. Finally today she was there, and so was a fresh new sign right next to the register: No refunds!

Whatever...in the end the manager gave me my money back, mainly due to the catch phrase:

"You and I both know, that sign wasn't there when I bought the peeants."

I feel good, like I haven't been cheated and it's a victory for the consumer. Although, I probably only did this whole thing so I could say peeants about 100 times.