Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Me, myself and I

Oh, arriving in the Holy Land has been a tad amusing.
I have a MASSIVE post that is in the process of being written and planned, but in the meantime here is the long and short of it:

Arrive at 4.30am, decided to go the long haul and leave jetlag as a mere memory of days gone by. I managed to successfully stay awake until 11.30pm last night and no longer will have the jetlag.

It has come to my attention that in meeting more members of my blog community and even those not in it, there is not one conversation where blogs have not been mentioned. Once I even commented on such fact, the talk of it has gotten even funnier.

I have also noticed that my peers write about these deep philosophical and spiritual issues. My blog has such a different bent. They should really all write novels.

the jig is up.
David. We know you're teatime. Now shut up.

Look Like shit and picked up twice in 6 hours from landing.
I don't what is with this country. The very long post that I will be inserting about my plane ride involves some guy who I happened to sit with on the plane.
Planes are gross, especially when you have 30 hour flights and you look totally gross. This guy who I sat with on the plane wants to hang out with me. I complacently took his number as it means he will not be able to call me.

Story II: On my way to Jay-ru, I'm rushing to get the bus from Ranaana. Some dude on a motorbike sees me and offers me a tremp (a ride). Never tremped in Israel before unless I was in the company of guys. The dude had rings on his finger, I figured him for being married. A little strange for a married guy, I'm in a hurry, so I say OK.
He gives me a helmet and we ride off into the distance.
THEN, when we get to the bus station he wants to take my photo of me on his bike!! WEIRDO!
Then he says he wants to take me for a ride on his Harley around Israel and tries to get my number. Again, I take his number instead.

I ended up missing my bus anyway because the guy wouldn't stop talking and once I'm waiting for the bus he comes back again telling me how he would really like to take me out.

I now understand, completely, where Gila is coming from. Someone please help her, because if I only just got here and she has to live with this every day, I really don't understand how she stays sane.

A revisitation of the grammar police.
Before I even start, disclaimer: I gotta type bloody fast, I have to get this post out so that I can go shopping (no blastings please on the fact that I don't have to post), so I am excused for typos, lack of apostrophes, etc (etc). So...on the plane they have the pilates exercises on the little monitor. They were in hebrew with english subtitles. While I was on the place for 11 hours I managed somehow to tell the story of the grammar police to this guy.
This comes on the screen: "Straighten"
He comments: "How funny. They spelt straighten with g's and h's in there. Bloody israelis." I laugh. First time in my life there is a clear, clear laughing at you, not with you situation.

Next: "Loosen your neck"
Him: "Oh my god. L.O.S.E. What is wrong with these people"

And the piece de resistance
Pilates Lady: "Let's now use our legs"
Him: "Ha ha ha. Let's with an apostrophe. Overload on the apostrophes lady. Apostrophe is only for possessives."

You moron!! At this point a ran to the bathroom in hysterics. One of the most clearly beautiful moments of my life. Then when I got back he comments on a time in a bar in Israel there was a sign "Draught beer here" and they spelt it all wrong I point out that is actually how you spell it. There was some backtracking, I pretended to buy it. But it was oh so funny.

So watch below this space for more adventures on my flight:

  • Sitting in Hong Kong airport with officials discussing while my nail file got confiscated
  • Watching my suitcase being destroyed during security checks and the further claims on insurance for case and contents
  • General hilarity that only I manage to manufacture and witness.

Above this post will be future adventures in Israel. There is a definite buzz in the air of everyone getting ready for pesach. The country is only going to get crazier.

No comments: