Saturday, March 18, 2006

The post of the New Zealand

Last week, I had to go to NZ for work. Not bad, but 'twas very, very tiring.
I left in an afternoon, arrived in Christchurch at 11.30 at night, to work the next morning, meetings.
Plane to Auckland in afternoon, off plane, check in to hotel, go to Auckland office.
MORE meetings till 9pm.
Then night out on town till all hours. AND then plane to Sydney- meaning I had to go to airport at 4.30am.
I was well tired when I went back into work. Zombie like and couldn't string 2 words together. I could blame it on the horrible food on the plane, or the fact that I didn't really sleep unless I was on a decide.

So, what did I get up to in NZ you ask? There is only room for freeloading, walking my way into anything, many a person pissing me off and general fun whilst I am away. But, I did put my foot in it probably more than once (it's the damn vigilance).

Scene 1 Take 1
I'm about to board plane in Sydney and manage to be standing in a group of old american tourists. The worst kind. To allow these 2 ladies to stand next to eachother, I move forward. Then they start talking at the top of their lungs about me (I guess even if they wanted to whisper they wouldn't be able to do it) and I mention why I had moved and then they comment how they were joking and get all pissed. The thing is this ladies, you don't talk about someone who is standing right infront of you. There is no cone of silence.

Scene 2 Take 7
I arrive in CC (Christchurch done cool) and it's late and I'm hungry.
Manage to get myself some free room service. Other than that CC sucked (Take 7 means it took quite a while to organise the free shite).

Scene 2 Take 19
At CC airport and have 30 minutes to kill before boarding. I walk past the Star Alliance Gold lounge. I think, this isn't a challenge, I'm in NZ. So I go up to the guy at the desk. He must be pushing 90, easy. I don't know how I did it. I pull up a statement on the left, then go a low right with a total contradiction and then I bring him back into the middle and pull him totally out of whack with another. It ended up being "You can go in, but next time you really need your card". I confused myself as well but, ended up with free lunch.

There are some extremely dumb people around at the moment. The grammar police is run off its feet. So much to the point that I have even suffered from my own abuse. It has to end. It's driving me nuts. But 2 things greatly amused me over this short trip. A woman was reading a back of a moisturiser packet to me. She reached the word absorption, which is now absorpertion. Another was 2 guys sitting behind me in the lounge. They're thinking outloud about what is 15% of $60,000. I go straight for the: "what's 10? Halve that and add" and by the time I was ready to board my plane they were still going!
What is with the world? And is there an easier way to get 15%? I think I would like to know.

Night out on town
Auckland is a pretty nice city. The office in NZ is pretty hot. Fish tanks, great wall screens. Great. I went to this nice bar and it turns out someone with my company is mates with them or something. I tried to score freebies. Foot - in - mouth. Not pretty.
Office shots

But then I went to this hot little bar. I can't even remember the name of it now. But it was this plush door in an alley. You knock and a little slider opens up, someone looks and perhaps lets you in or not. I love those things. It wasn't a busy night, so as I was leaving someone knocks on the door. I open it and look at them mysteriously. They say how they are just waiting for a call from Dave on his whereabouts. I say something like "Hey, you call Dave, get him to come over and then we'll reconsider." Then I slammed the slider shut. It was so much better at the moment. This does not do justice.
But that little bar was great. I sat with the bartender. I played backgammon (I convincingly won), I played Pool (and convincingly lost twice) and we all had some lovely drinks. Nice bar.

Hotel shots
All I wanted to do was jump on the beds. Why does free shit make you want to act like a kid again? I didn't know which bed to choose, or which toilet I should pish in. It was too many decisions even for me.

Back home
The night was fun. Bit worrisome re alcohol that I wouldn't be allowed on plane. I get to the check in counter and this asian lady has died her hair and eyebrows totally blonde. It was really disconcerting and I couldn't stop staring. She is oh-so-efficient and checks me in without asking me where I want to sit. I ask her "aren't you even going to ask me where I want to sit?", tears up the boarding pass, reissues and then I make her tear it up again. She initally gave me a window. Window sucks- you're pegged in. Then she gives me aisle, but behind one of those stupid wall dividers, claiming they have more leg room. In actual fact they don't and they suck. Reason is, if you are behind a seat at least you can stretch your legs out farther. So 3rd time lucky and then I have to check my bag in the fragile area- she sends me away 5 metres.

The fragile guy says something in mumble to me like "go back to the counter." I say I've just been there, he mumbles something else, I'm confused and finally I understand that someone has to verify my bag is mine and so is my boarding pass...but I just came from the counter 5 metres away. The guy was a dick, the woman who was meant to check (who did nothing) woke up from her catatonic state, checks me who knows how and I go through. Great.

On plane
I'm asleep before take off. I love that. At one point I wake up and there is food infront of me....ohh fuck this. The blog is already too long, the story not that exciting and recounts me complaining again.
In the end, I felt important going away. I had awesome hotel rooms and I felt like I just wanted to jump on all these big beds and run amuck. I accomplished some of that.

Next time when I go it will be even more fun and I hope the post will be even longer!

Other highlights:

  • Getting in trouble at Customs in Sydney for using a trolley that was just sitting there.
  • Telling a security guy in NZ "don't you know girls don't put anything in their pockets?" with a wink and a smile when he asked me if I had anything in my pockets.
  • Thanks to Gids for showing me around Auckland. Loved it.

Quote of the week
To global CEO: "You gotta blog?"

No comments: