Thursday, December 15, 2005

A real scammer knows the deal

I’m a scammer, I’ve always been a scammer. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just about cutting corners and getting the most out of life.
You have to use your limited resources in a creative way to get maximum returns. It isn’t a hard concept and most people are only limited by their creativity.

I’ve been pulling it ever since I was 7. That first sick day that I took off because I hadn’t been sick the entire year (an ailment which I still suffer from…). The best ‘not feeling well’ I ever pulled was in Year 2. They called my mother and asked her to come and get me. When she finally got there and walked in the door I had forgotten I was sick and was in the midst of dancing to The Jackson Five atop of a table. I somehow still went home.

I owe my first stab at scamming to my hero- Ferris Bueller. I salute you.

However, one thing a real scammer always knows is never ever reveal your secrets. If you do, it spreads and it gets out then you can’t really do your scam for much longer, can you?
That’s why I won’t tell you any of the other stuff I’ve done. What I can tell you though, is letter writing works a charm. There is something about hard copy that really gets to people.

So the point of this Blog- yesterday in Radar
some schlemiel wrote a piece on how he is a scammer. He told of everything he pulls and in great detail. The guy is a moron, especially when he reveals all the little tricks he does at the very end. Personally, I think things like hanging out in the toilets to go to the movies are lame and not at all creative (especially when I got Val Morgan giving me free tickets all the time). Saying you’re a photographer to get into parties- those are the good ideas!

I had a friend who went to Cannes one year for the film festival. He made business cards saying him and his mate were producers. They handed the cards out, got into stuff. Sounds awesome and it’s not stealing at all (like the movie example), it’s an excellent scam and a brilliant way to make contacts if you are trying to get into that industry. Very ingenuitive.

Someone also tried to pull a scam on me today! The thought of it amuses me so. This is Wisecrack we’re talking about. I don’t think so.

Here’s what happened:
Well, the little lady of the anonymous MSN, Juzzie, tried to get me back. I admit it wasn’t so nice what I did in my Blog- but it was just so random and nothing really happened anyway except my sitemeter stats going up. So Juzzie tried to get me to go on one of those websites where you fill out all these details and then it comes out with all the juice on your future love life and various predictions- but it’s a ruse and sends all the info you just spilt to the person who referred you to the site.

These sites are one of the cruelest and offensive things I have ever seen. Getting a person to reveal all that personal information which becomes a joke….it just makes my blood boil.

But- she wanted me to do it! As if I would fall for it. Nice try. But you’re going to have to get up earlier than that….

On the Blog War…
So Gila’s Blog, Gila’s Big Adventure, is quite humourous. I’ll tell you why… If someone does a Google search for “Big Girls” but forgets the ‘r’, they get “Big Gils” which brings up her website straight away! Excellent, excellent work Gilly. And quite ingenious. Your stats are going through the roof and you have porno fiends looking at all your sexy pictures. How you feeling now??


Nicole said...

"Letter writing works like a charm" - are we from the same gene pool or what?
Almost not a week goes by without me penning some consumer complaint letter about one product or another. Thanks to DTP tools, I've got my own personalized letterhead and logo, which makes it look very professh. You should note, however, that I don't engage in letter writing as a "scam." Every letter was written because of a genuine product defect (and believe me, they are not lacking). We've reaped free bottles of wine, (wine was off) free chocolate (it had that powdered dusty texture), free baby food (dried deposits under the lid), free laundry powder (no measuring cup), and are now awaiting free nappies (unstickable stickers)...
Let's face it - we're paying enough money to the big corporations - and we're entitled to get what we pay for. Here's to consumer vigilence!

gils said...

i feel fine