It's not like it's the Logies, it's just the MTV awards!

This was my perception at the beginning of the night (Which is kind of ironic because I think the Logies are bigger than a joke).

I went from no ticket at 1pm the day of the awards, to ticket in grandstand, to MTV corporate suite to after party travlling by booze bus. And I mean booze bus!

see:


The story unfolds as such:
I wasn't going to the AVMAs at all. I had no tickets, nada. And when a friend called to say he had a ticket for me, I was definitely happy. Although as it dawned on me, no after party ticket is a bit shite. Everyone knows award ceremonies are as boring as piss. What's the point in getting dressed to go home again?

So- I didn't want to go anymore. I tried calling a couple of people for theirs, but in the end I had to go to the AVMAs. I only needed to go to freaking homebush to pick up a spare after party ticket.

However, after a couple of drinks, Eb spilt me into a taxi and we went to homebush.
My seats were pretty good, I saw Pink, see:
And Fergie Ferg and I don't know, some other shit people. And it was getting mighty boring.

Apparently these people were flown to Sydney from my work's Hong Kong office. They were sitting in the MTV office. We made it our mission and theirs to get us to the Corporate MTV suite.
Of course we ran in to the usual anal lift security people who can't take you anywhere without the correct documentation. But we managed to overcome that hurdle with the flash of a bullshit business card.
The suite
This was like Havana. I do not know the rest of what happened in the award show. I proceeded to drink drink after drink (it sucks when a noun is also a verb of the same action).
We had photos, we ran around, we ate. It was fun.
The only thing I did see/hear was Nicole Ritchie mispronouncing Shannon Noll's name. Boy, it was great.

When we left the AVMAs we got the booze bus. MTV hired 10 buses to take people to the after party. Every seat had a bottle of Jaeger on it. I took 4. Then booze hags were going around passing out more drinks. It's a long drive from Homebush back to the city!

When we got to the after party it was MASSIVELY crowded. The person who was collecting tickets just dumped them in this massive bin. I reached in and took out a handful, called up a couple of my closest friends at midnight to see if they would get out of bed and come. They were pansies and didn't.

We couldn't move.
And all I really wanted to was get in the gold area where all the VIPs were.
That didn't work, and it was so packed we left. As we were going they shut the doors for entry.

We got in a cab and left. Our cab driver was such a star fucker. He wanted 2 of our after party tickets. If we gave them to him he would give us a free cab ride. Signed, sealed, delivered baby. You can for sure have 2 worthless pieces of paper.

The whole night got me thinking about celebrity. I don't know why I wanted to go to VIP areas, celebrities are just people with massive insecurities. Maybe I just want all the plebs looking on in envy. That's really the only benefit out of the whole thing....

Well, whatever it was fun. Suite and booze bus were definitely the funnest.