Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Back in the game

So good to be back. Already have a tally of stories to get off my chest.

You have to realise how much I hate Christmas. I don't know if I really hate it, I just hate those people who "get into the spirit" and wear glittery "Noel" t shirts and red and green tinsel in their hair. Don't people know that Coke invented those Christmas colours??!!! You are just subscribing to marketing. Fools.

I also intensely dislike the notion that everyone thinks that everyone else does Christmas.

A bit of this dislike has probably rubbed off onto me from the parental father figure. He was always "we're Jewish, we don't do Christmas. No presents on the 8 days of Chanukah, it's a travesty. It's just a way for Jews to make themselves more Christian like. etc etc"

I do clearly exaggerate the diatribe my father used to give, however these days I just feel we're in a multi cultural society. Different cultures do different stuff, don't ram Christmas down my throat. ... Although I have always loves those Hanna Barbera christmas cartoons. Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman. You can't go wrong and it was how I educated myself to Christmas songs.

So yesterday in WBJ (Westfield Bondi Junction). I had a great time trying to find parking. As I was at the end of my tether and thinking I'm only doing one more round in here, I asked some girl if she was leaving and if I could stalk her to her car. Better than actually driving at 2km an hour till she gets to her car (which is what happened to me when I left, so I weaved in and out of cars to piss off my stalker. I was just having fun, I couldn't resist).

So I parked and went inside.

Masses and masses of people. Just everywhere and just walking so aimlessly. I checked out a couple of my favourite places. Princess Highway has pleasantly surprised me once, I'm waiting for them to surprise me yet again.

Meduza was fantastic. I loved this little pinafore but it was a little too expensive and the fabric, being polyester, seem it could be a little too hot. So I enquired about this to the sales lady:

Me: Does this dress get hot?
Saleslady: Yes, yes. It looks great.
Me: No. Not hot in the Paris kind of way. Hot in the 'does this fabric make you sweat' kind of way?
Saleslady: Yes, this is my daughter's shop. She designs everything. She is so great.
Me: No. You're not actually listening to what I'm saying. I want to know....etc etc

Not really how I envisaged that conversation going down. The dress did infact look hot and so I asked for a discount. She said no, but I told her everyone in WBJ gives me discounts (which they don't). In the end I swung one. If you read this blog and ask me how, I'll tell you how. Very useful and I shall definitely be using it again.

So I went walking around elsewhere, although I couldn't actually walk. I couldn't move. These fuckers think around Christmas that they don't have to subscribe to the stand left on an escalator rule. I had to ask so many people to please stand aside. Initially my comments were just excuse me, can I please get past and then I got inventive:
"Can you please stand to the left as is the customary rule on escalators"
"Hey bub, shift left"
"You! Yes you! Move"
doesn't really get more creative than that and the last one I made up.

The taxis are a nightmare.
Virtually impossible to score one. Today I had a meeting and after walking from Bridge St to Market St to score a taxi, I got into one and let out my feelings to the cab driver once within the vehicle. He wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, I'll say that now.

He proceeded to talk about it being Christmas and the silly season but he said no to worry soon it will be Sunday, then Monday and then comes the big turkey. He asked me what I did and I said with bold defiance:
"I don't do Christmas, I'm Jewish."

So he asked me what I do. I said we don't believe in Jesus, he is a Heretic. We don't do anything in relation to Christmas. We aren't Christian. I think I was raving. He asked about other holidays and I said there are tonnes throughout the year. He tried to think of some.... his ensuing response.......

"Oh yeah, the holocaust."

On hearing this, try envisage my response. Guess what I did...
I can't believe I didn't go ballistic. I just responded calmly
"Holocaust?! That was when Hitler tried to kill all the Jews. I don't really think it's a holiday, more of a more memorial day."

I don't think he was too embarrassed. I actually laughed and said I needed to write that down. He continued on the Jew topic. He said we're all rich, I responded that this was slightly stereotypical and not exactly accurate. Then he said we're all so smart. He mentioned Einstein. And then I mentioned it's not so true either, I happen to know a couple of dumb asses.
He liked that.

Overall it's ok. I'm trying not to go into anymore department stores or shopping centres with a vehicle. You will never ever get parking. I am excited for Christmas morning cartoons. Love those. Unexcited for the weather continuing to be shit. I wonder if we'll have another "hottest day on record". Who will do the counting for how ever many times that's said?

On another note
Know anyone who works for the NSW Premiers department?? If you know someone that does, I'd very much like to know. Shoot me an email if you do....

Love you all. Drive safe over the holiday period. Those p drivers are lethal.

1 comment:

Dot Co Dot Il said...

Bondi Junction is a nightmare at the best of times let alone late December.