Wednesday, May 03, 2006

A night of canapes and shoes

Last night, Eb and I went to one of these Nine West member functions.
It was this fashion show for shoes at the Tea House in QVB. They said it was going to be High Tea, they said it was going to be fashion, they said there were going to be canapes (pronounced ka-naps...we all know THAT story).

So what did we get?
Everyone got a rose. I said to the gay guy who was handing out the roses: "Oh, how sweet. You make me feel so special."
He laughed. How droll.

There was a string quartet, but there were only 3 people in it. What do you call that? A string trio? Doesn't really sound right. We think the fourth member cancelled at the last minute because the shoes are so horrid these days. I only go for the canapes, the conversation (remember the wedge debacle?) and the show bags.

I walk in and pick a seat in the front row, Eb arrives, we wait for the canapes. I ask as one walks past "Is that vegetarian?"
She says yes, but I keep pestering her-
What's that white thing?

What's that thing under the cheese?
The tray?

What's that thing on top?

No, what's that white thing?

Basically, there was this suspect item in between the cheese and the bread. I still didn't trust it and Eb confirmed it was turkey. Lucky I am. Well lucky.

From that moment on, everyone who took the last canape was a bitch. A waitress who didn't come up to us was a bitch. If there was meat on or in it, that was just meat that I couldn't eat and there was some bitch involved.

The marketing director and the fashion director of Marie Claire make speeches. I hate it when people start talking so seriously about fashion. It's such a waste of breath. The F.D. of M.C. then announces:
"Girls, it's taking the look of fashion and combining it to make a 'wow' factor"

What? Are you for real?
Eb and I couldn't believe it. And I probably transcribe it incorrectly anyway. You get the point.
There were so many designer wannabes at this thing anyway, they probably lapped it up. They were telling the crowd it's ok to wear a dress and flats, it's ok to do this and that. Why do people want to hear this and then turn up in the same place in uniform? It's so strange.

As the show starts, we are in disbelief. The models aren't real models, turns out they're from the Nine West Sales department!! One has knobbly knees, one has this crazy chewing gum walk like she is trying to walk like a model. Another walks so fast that you can't see the shoes. It's like a blur of colour going past. Another clomped down the catwalk like one of those robots from War of the Worlds. But hey, I'm not judgemental!
We worked out from the program that all their names are listed. We heckled them a little, but I think it was all said too softly. If I was a guy I'm sure I could do it with no problems....maybe next time!

It was definitely worth the entertainment value. We got some awesome show bags with tonnes of shite in them. I hear way better than some fashion week showbags.

Nine West- thank you. It's not everyday I get so much material or even such a good time. It's a shame I didn't win one of the lucky door prizes, because I really would have strutted my way down the catwalk to get the prize from you.

I must also add, Eb and I are having a contest on who can write the better blog for this entry. You be the judge. And Eb get your freaking act together!


Hugh Jazz said...

There is only one of me. Do not fall victim to the gossip grapevine.


Wisey said...

You make one fatal, fatal mistake David.

You haven't posted on TeaTime since you started posting on Dot Co Dot il.